The Grind...

When The Grind comes…

On Saturday I began running at 805AM in the morning. 

The first two miles were up a mountain.  4280 feet of elevation to 4872 feet.  It only got better from there.  You might ask – what is better than that Dave?  Better is the rocks on the course.  The beautiful views of the mirror like surface of the Great Salt Lake and the sunrise.  More rocks.  Then it got better than that.  There was Mountain Dew at the first aid station.  And M&Ms and cookies – and straight Coke.  I chose the Mountain Dew. 

After that aid station – you go on down the mountain.  Like a rollicking porpoise in the ocean – you are kicking rocks all of the way.  You are going up and down the mountains.  Is there any help out there for you?  No.  It tis just be you – and the mountain.  Nobody can drag your ass up the hill.  Nobody can drag your ass further.  It is just you.  You.  All you got is you.  You could quit.  At any time you could quit and just pack it up and go home.  But how do you get back down the mountain?  The same way you got up there.  Might as well continue – oh yes you continue.

You go back to 4241 feet – and slog through a loose trail – and I do mean loose.  The rocks here were deposited whilst Hercules was cleaning the stalls of the 12 incontinent bulls.  They have been left here for your feet to hit – stumble over – and get in your way.  Did I mention this was a trail run?  Oh yes.  Did I mention that you are only 2:46:40 seconds into the trail run?

Stevie Wonder begins to play at this time.  Superstition.  Music makes it easier.  Oh, wait – you are at the 2:26:40 – where you have been left by all the (g)ods of running.  No fleet of foot here.  Here begins the slog up the mountain.  How far do you want to go?

How about from 4238FT to 5249FT.  Straight up the damned mountain.  No running here.  1011 feet up the mountain.

That will only take you an hour.  Of your life.

You get there.  More Mountain Dew.  Lots of it this time.  The remark – “hey you are at the top of the mountain.  Did you know everyone else but you signed up BEFORE today?  They are crazy, you are a special type of crazy.”  Thanks.

Then you begin the descent.  All the way down the mountain.  You can’t go fast – you are fat and rolling down the mountain isn’t an option.  At mile 15 you stop.  You send a message to your wife and I quote: 

“Molly I am halfway through it is noon I don’t think I’ll be done before 5 I’m sorry this is a beast I’m going to go back to running now and put this back in my pack and I don’t think I’m going to be done until 4 I’m so sorry.”

I misspelled my wife’s name because I couldn’t type with my fingers.  It must have looked to the other stragglers on this race that I was praying to some god in the West – because the ones in the East had given up on me.  I put the phone back in my pack and kept going. 

Why?  Because you can’t stop.  You can’t say – “Damn this was hard and I gave up.”  Or the better one “I sure hope I don’t die out here – the other runners won’t help me – they want to finish too.” 

When the grind calls you – you step it up.  You are the only one that can do it.  You are the only one that can answer the call.  Nobody else can step in for you.  Negative Ghost Rider – the pattern is full.  THREE MILES UP THE MOUNTAIN.  Nobody to carry your sorry carcass up there – and nobody will carry you back down.  You get to do it.  This is not some pansy road race where they have a tent with medical people in it to help you.  The aid station dudes just go – “damn that was a nice little hill for you, would you like more Mountain Dew?”  Yes Please.  The lady at the last aid station told me to not use as many cups of her Mountain Dew and we agreed she would pour and I would just drink.

Life is exactly like this race.  In every day you will find obstacles – three miles up the mountain.  Nobody to help you or to assist.  You will find yourself on a trip that you signed up for and you get what you punched the ticket.  Your feet will hurt.  Your mind will tell you – “hey dude – just turn around.  It is only 15 miles back to the start.”  Then your mind recalculates – and tells you “Quit being such a baby – it is only 16 miles finish.” 

You dig back to your roots of your existence – and you slap the grit out of your eyes – and press forward.  There is no going back.  There is no surrender.  There is no acquiescing to pain.  There is no give in.  There is no give up.  There is no understanding of stopping.  You put your hands on your knees – and you calculate – “what do I need to do to finish?” 

You grind it.  You do it.  You finish.  If you need to walk – you walk – if you can run – you run.

You finish.  You fight your mind and your body.  You hurt – but pain is temporary.  You can’t stop.  Nobody else will do it for you.

Hard is worth it.  Hard makes you dig into your soul and try harder.  Hard is what life is made of.  You keep moving – Hard does not frighten you. 

Press it – grind it – do it – finish it – there is only one goal – get it done.

You land your boat on the shore of a challenge.  You burn the boat – because there is no turning back.  You do it.  You make it – you build and grow to meet the challenge. 

Feed your fire.  Love the grind.  Step out into the unknown.   At 7:53:54 you finish.  Doesn’t that sound better?

FMR

“My lord duke I admit that my knees do tremble but should they know where I shall this day take them they would shake even more.”

Courage.  Motivation.  Grit. Determination.  Guts. 

Each day we rise up in the morning – and we saddle up – and in the words of John Wayne – “Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.”

Each of us – get to make the choice.  Each day we can sit on the porch.  Enjoy the sunrise – and the sunset.  The creep of the crickets in the bushes – and the calls of the wild birds overhead.  What good does that do you?  The sun burns hot – the desire to do something with your time should burn all the hotter.

I quote from General George Patton:

“All men are timid on entering any fight; whether it is the first fight or the last fight all of us are timid. Cowards are those who let their timidity get the better of their manhood. You will never do that because of your blood lines on both sides. I think I have told you the story of Marshall Touraine who fought under Louis XIV. On the morning of one of his last battles—he had been fighting for forty years—he was mounting his horse when a young ADC [aide-de-camp] who had just come from the court and had never missed a meal or heard a hostile shot said: “M. de Touraine it amazes me that a man of your supposed courage should permit his knees to tremble as he walks out to mount.” Touraine replied “My lord duke I admit that my knees do tremble but should they know where I shall this day take them they would shake even more.” That is it. Your knees may shake but they will always take you towards the enemy.”

Touraine was right.  He knew what was out there.  He knew that what we was going to do that day was full of disaster – setbacks – charges – retreats – blood – and folly.  But, he went anyway.  He went out and strapped on his sword.  He strapped on his honor and his dignity.  He gathered himself together and pointed the horse in the direction he was going to go.  He took what he had and screwed up his courage – and led his men forward.  Inner resolve and confidence.

I continue with George Patton:  “There are apparently two types of successful soldiers. Those who get on by being unobtrusive and those who get on by being obtrusive. I am of the latter type and seem to be rare and unpopular: but it is my method. One has to choose a system and stick to it; people who are not themselves are nobody.”

You will never be successful being what you are not.  You will never survive the fight and the contact with your enemy if you don’t be what you are.  If you are faking it – then the well will run dry when you need the water the most.

Next point:  “The intensity of your desire to acquire any special ability depends on character, on ambition.” Your ambition drives you.  Your drive fueled by what you want to be and how you want to get there. 

Running – like life is complicated.  Each mile is the same amount of distance.  There are no short cuts – there is no shortening the mile.  They are all miles.  They all add up.  They all include the grinding.  Are there easier miles?  Yes.  Are there downhill miles, uphill miles, and flat miles that stretch out forever?  Yes.  But all races are finite.  All life is finite – and this life has an end.  Nobody gets out of this life alive.

So I run.  Not fast – not walking – but I run.  I do that which I need to do to get where I have set my goals to get to.  Once you lock in the goals.  Once your mind says – “I CAN DO THIS.”  Then you can make it.  You can make the distance.  You can silence your fears.  You can make your arms and legs move at the pace you want to go at.  Do you need all the frilly shorts and trappings to get you there?  If you wanted to do a race. And you wanted to run it.  You could do it in flip flops and corduroy jeans.  You would make yourself go.  You would want to get there.  You would want to be in the best shape and in the best place.

Why don’t you go now?  What is holding you back?  What anchors are weighing you down?  What have you allowed yourself to be tethered to so that you can’t get out the door and be yourself?

Is it what you want to do?  Is it where you want to be?  What time is it in your head?  Time to quit or time to awaken your sense of destiny and desire?

“I am sure that if every leader who goes into battle will promise himself that he will come out either a conqueror or a corpse he is sure to win. There is no doubt of that. Defeat is not due to losses but to the destruction of the soul of the leaders. The “Live to fight another day” doctrine.”

It is not in your destiny to fail.  You can either give yourself the confidence to make good choices.  To make the right choice.  To make your path your own.  But each day – just like John Wayne – or Marshall Touraine – you leave it all out there – you make your way.  You beat back the odds and you drive.  Drive to your goals.  You beat the drum.  You set your pace.  You have got this.  Every day – you have got it right there in your hands.

Do it.  Do it now.  Do it hard.  Make those around you know that you were there.  Don’t go timid. The word General Patton used:  Bumptious.  Self-assertive or proud to an irritating degree.

Go out there.  Make yourself proud of what you are.  Don’t listen to the detractors.  Be yourself.

FMR. 

Reference:  http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/08/21/manvotional-a-letter-from-general-george-s-patton-to-his-son/

What are champions made of?

You measure yourself every day.  You take what you did yesterday and you judge yourself.  You mark progress or regression.  You decide if you are a champion yesterday - and you decide each morning if you will be a champion today.

But what does that mean?  Did you win?  Did you lose?  Who defines a champion?
You Do.  You develop your metrics - you develop the scale.  You develop what you think is success.

Yesterday was the worst day ever.  You were dumbest yesterday.  You were fattest yesterday.  You were slowest yesterday.  You made mistakes yesterday.  You weren't where you wanted to be yesterday.  You didn't get what you wanted yesterday.  You couldn't make it yesterday.

But that was yesterday.  That was the past.  You CAN'T CHANGE IT - YOU CAN'T ADJUST TO THE PAST!

But you can learn from it.  You can take the lessons learned and build on those.  Or you can tear out what you built because it did not work and do something better today.

Today is yours.  You have identified what you want to do.  Now you make a plan to dynamite the barriers in front of you to get where you want to go.

I was raised on World War 2 movies - there is a scene after the Allies have landed - in the movie "The Longest Day" General Cota and Colonel Thompson interact about where they are and what they will be doing: (at 2:33:14 for those with Netflix...)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQHKKGPUD1I

_______
Colonel Thompson : What do you think?
General Cota:  Think?
Colonel Thompson: We must have close to a thousand casualties up to now.  Do you want me to have the ships start picking us up?
Cota: You think it's that bad?
Colonel Thompson: I don't see what else to do.  We can't get up this hill.  If we don't get off this beach, we won't have any division left.
Cota: What? These are our men, Tom. You think we brought them in so some die and ask the rest to turn tail?  Hell, no.  We're gonna get up that hill.  Find me somebody to speak for the Rangers.  Back down the beach on the right there's a gully.  With a heavily defended roadblock and machine gun nests on both sides.  If we can blow our way through...
Colonel Thompson:  We've hit it three times.  We didn't get close.
Cota:  Three times isn't enough.  We're gonna hit it again.  Can you find me some engineers?
Colonel Thompson:  They're all around you!
Cota:  I mean engineers with equipment still working.
Colonel Thompson:  Then I shouldn't radio the ships?
Cota:  No, damn it!  We need bangalore torpedoes, bazookas, mortars, wire cutters...and every man that can stand.  Pass the word, will you?
Colonel Thompson:  Okay, Norm.
Cota:  Now listen to me, all of you.  You guys got to snap out of it.  We're getting off of here, and we're going inland.
Soldier:  What about weapons, General? My men lost everything. They gotta have something to fight with.
Cota:  Strip the dead and the wounded.  Pick up anything that'll shoot.  I don't have to tell you the score,
you all know it. Only two kinds of people are gonna stay on this beach:
Those that are already dead and those that will die. Get off your butts!  You guys are the fighting 29th!
________

Do you see what I mean?  Do you see what you have to do?  Have you tried three times and it failed all three times?  Did you slap the title "LOSER" on your head and staple it there because - damn it was hard and I failed and now I am an eternal loser....

You pick up whatever you need that will do the job.  You add skills, education, endurance, ability, and you drive through until you get what you need done. Sometimes it is "wet work," meaning that it is up close and personal - knives and close contact to get the work done.  

Here is the simple equation.  You woke up this morning.  You have landed on your proverbial beach head - ready to do battle.  If you stay on the beach - you will make no progress - likely you will "die" there.  Like Cota says above - two types of people stay on the beach - those that are dead - and those that will die.  Your goal is to move inland.

Inland.  Not safe.  Not easy.  Barriers everywhere.  Saboteurs, snipers, land mines, traps, walls, spikes, flames, and sometimes it will test your very mettle of your spirit to get through.  What are you prepared to do?  Stay on the beach?  Die there.  Or.

Move inland.  Move it.  Do something.  Make a move.  Action.  Brain to feet to hands to heart - get your move on and don't look back.  Backwards is scarier.  Backwards is where the past gets buried and you move forward.

Don't stay on the beach.  Straight up the gap and make those barriers in your way suffer as you make your way to your goal.  Champions are not made on the beach.  No medal is awarded for landing.
FMR

-What do you think?
-Think?
We must have close to a thousand
casualties up to now.
Do you want me to have the ships
start picking us up?
-You think it's that bad?
-I don't see what else to do.
We can't get up this hill.
If we don't get off this beach,
we won't have any division left.
What?
These are our men, Tom.
You think we brought them in so some
die and ask the rest to turn tail?
Hell, no.
We're gonna get up that hill.
Find me somebody to speak
for the Rangers.
Back down the beach
on the right there's a gully.
With a heavily defended roadblock
and machine gun nests on both sides.
-If we can blow our way through...
-We've hit it three times.
-We didn't get close.
-Three times isn't enough.
We're gonna hit it again.
Can you find me some engineers?
They're all around you!
I mean engineers
with equipment still working.
Then I shouldn't radio the ships?
No, damn it!
We need bangalore torpedoes,
bazookas, mortars, wire cutters...
...and every man that can stand.
Pass the word, will you?
Okay, Norm.
Now listen to me, all of you.
You guys got to snap out of it.
We're getting off of here,
and we're going inland.
What about weapons, General?
My men lost everything.
They gotta have something
to fight with.
Strip the dead and the wounded.
Pick up anything that'll shoot.
I don't have to tell you the score,
you all know it.
Only two kinds of people
are gonna stay on this beach:
Those that are already dead and those
that will die. Get off your butts!
You guys are the fighting 29th!

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=longest-day-the

-What about the 1 st Division?
-They're hung up, sir.
Like we are.
Move out.
-What do you think?
-Think?
We must have close to a thousand
casualties up to now.
Do you want me to have the ships
start picking us up?
-You think it's that bad?
-I don't see what else to do.
We can't get up this hill.
If we don't get off this beach,
we won't have any division left.
What?
These are our men, Tom.
You think we brought them in so some
die and ask the rest to turn tail?
Hell, no.
We're gonna get up that hill.
Find me somebody to speak
for the Rangers.
Back down the beach
on the right there's a gully.
With a heavily defended roadblock
and machine gun nests on both sides.
-If we can blow our way through...
-We've hit it three times.
-We didn't get close.
-Three times isn't enough.
We're gonna hit it again.
Can you find me some engineers?
They're all around you!
I mean engineers
with equipment still working.
Then I shouldn't radio the ships?
No, damn it!
We need bangalore torpedoes,
bazookas, mortars, wire cutters...
...and every man that can stand.
Pass the word, will you?
Okay, Norm.
Now listen to me, all of you.
You guys got to snap out of it.
We're getting off of here,
and we're going inland.
What about weapons, General?
My men lost everything.
They gotta have something
to fight with.
Strip the dead and the wounded.
Pick up anything that'll shoot.
I don't have to tell you the score,
you all know it.
Only two kinds of people
are gonna stay on this beach:
Those that are already dead and those
that will die. Get off your butts!
You guys are the fighting 29th!

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=longest-day-the-What about the 1 st Division?

-They're hung up, sir.
Like we are.
Move out.
-What do you think?
-Think?
We must have close to a thousand
casualties up to now.
Do you want me to have the ships
start picking us up?
-You think it's that bad?
-I don't see what else to do.
We can't get up this hill.
If we don't get off this beach,
we won't have any division left.
What?
These are our men, Tom.
You think we brought them in so some
die and ask the rest to turn tail?
Hell, no.
We're gonna get up that hill.
Find me somebody to speak
for the Rangers.
Back down the beach
on the right there's a gully.
With a heavily defended roadblock
and machine gun nests on both sides.
-If we can blow our way through...
-We've hit it three times.
-We didn't get close.
-Three times isn't enough.
We're gonna hit it again.
Can you find me some engineers?
They're all around you!
I mean engineers
with equipment still working.
Then I shouldn't radio the ships?
No, damn it!
We need bangalore torpedoes,
bazookas, mortars, wire cutters...
...and every man that can stand.
Pass the word, will you?
Okay, Norm.
Now listen to me, all of you.
You guys got to snap out of it.
We're getting off of here,
and we're going inland.
What about weapons, General?
My men lost everything.
They gotta have something
to fight with.
Strip the dead and the wounded.
Pick up anything that'll shoot.
I don't have to tell you the score,
you all know it.
Only two kinds of people
are gonna stay on this beach:
Those that are already dead and those
that will die. Get off your butts!
You guys are the fighting 29th!

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=longest-day-the

-What about the 1 st Division?
-They're hung up, sir.
Like we are.
Move out.
-What do you think?
-Think?
We must have close to a thousand
casualties up to now.
Do you want me to have the ships
start picking us up?
-You think it's that bad?
-I don't see what else to do.
We can't get up this hill.
If we don't get off this beach,
we won't have any division left.
What?
These are our men, Tom.
You think we brought them in so some
die and ask the rest to turn tail?
Hell, no.
We're gonna get up that hill.
Find me somebody to speak
for the Rangers.
Back down the beach
on the right there's a gully.
With a heavily defended roadblock
and machine gun nests on both sides.
-If we can blow our way through...
-We've hit it three times.
-We didn't get close.
-Three times isn't enough.
We're gonna hit it again.
Can you find me some engineers?
They're all around you!
I mean engineers
with equipment still working.
Then I shouldn't radio the ships?
No, damn it!
We need bangalore torpedoes,
bazookas, mortars, wire cutters...
...and every man that can stand.
Pass the word, will you?
Okay, Norm.
Now listen to me, all of you.
You guys got to snap out of it.
We're getting off of here,
and we're going inland.
What about weapons, General?
My men lost everything.
They gotta have something
to fight with.
Strip the dead and the wounded.
Pick up anything that'll shoot.
I don't have to tell you the score,
you all know it.
Only two kinds of people
are gonna stay on this beach:
Those that are already dead and those
that will die. Get off your butts!
You guys are the fighting 29th!

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=longest-day-the

My own Capone... Knives, guns, hospitals, morgues.

I am a runner - not as fast as the guys trying to break the sound barrier - but I move in my own pace - grind out my own runs.  I run.  For long distances.  Not as long as the ultra runners - but I may do that some day.
During my rest day - Sunday - the day after 16.2 miles of fun running - I was cleaning the kitchen. Not my most favorite thing to do - but the kids were in bed - meaning - the twins were in bed but protesting.  So I put on a classic movie from my childhood.

The Untouchables.

Now I know what you are thinking - "Dave - Mr. Fat Man Running - your childhood included that movie?  You must be tainted in some way."
The movies from my youth are varied.  I enjoyed Bedknobs and Broomsticks - but also Saving Private Ryan.  So if you are judging me - go ahead - I don't care.

Back to The Untouchables - there is the scene in the Church - when Elliot Ness is talking with his new mentor - Jimmy Malone - and they are discussing the "how" to "get" Capone.  If you are familiar with this - it involves escalating the argument till you win.  Escalation - ratcheting up your determination because you will win.  You will win because you take more guts and determination.  Knives, guns, hospitals, morgues.

So, the question becomes - what is your Capone?  What are you willing to grind up to make energy to face your Capone?  I have mine - I know what it is - and I know it is going to be a hard struggle.  But I will win.  I will conquer and I will do whatever it takes to win.

Will Smith - not afraid to die on a treadmill:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doqS35FfcUE
Al Pacino - the six inches in front of your face:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4tIrjBDkk

Inches - play by play - what are you going to do to win?
Do you set down the "Sorry I'm Me" and crawl out of the place you have put yourself in.  And win.
Winning matters.  Effort matters.  YOU MATTER!
Finding yourself in a battle for yourself - Meeting your Capone.  You fight for the inches around you. You claw and tear till you win.
You know it makes the difference between winning and losing - living and dying.
You choose to live today.  I choose to LIVE today.
You go out and find your Capone - and you escalate till you win.
Win.
No holds barred - fighting for you - fighting for your goal.
Knives.  Guns.  Hospitals.  Morgues.  YOU DON'T END UP IN THE MORGUE.
You put Capone there.  Because today - today - at this minute you choose to win.  And you do it.
Win.
FMR

The Grind

Many men - get up each morning - and some don't.  I count myself lucky to have arisen from my bed and to stride forth upon the earth.  It has been some time since I put fingers to keys to empty my brain of the thoughts I have had.  And there are many.

1. I am still alive
2. Running is good for me - and I find more of it.
3. I can do whatever I want.  I get to choose.

When I think about running I find so many parallels to life and to trials and tribulation.

1. Running is not for everyone.
2. However far I go out - I have to come back.
3. Pain is temporary in a run.
4. Pride has no place in a run.  
5. How you look does not matter while you run.
6. The distance can be whatever your mind chooses it to be.  You want to go 10 you go 10.  If you want to go 26.2 you get to go all the way.
7. No matter how far you go - you are all by yourself.   There is nobody else out there but you and your Creator.
8. When you realize #7 you can have a greater understanding of how you connect with everything around you.
9. The farther you go - the harder you go - the closer you will know your limits.  If you don't go as far as you can - then you will never know to what limits you can go.
10. Running in the heat is brutal - running in the cold is a different type of brutality.
11. 96 degrees is hot.  Five miles in hot is something of an issue.
12. If you are going on a long run - 16+ miles - make sure that the time of year is conducive to the latrines being open to the public.  If not you crap in the woods, by a picnic table, and luckily it is dark outside and you are in the tree line.
13. Toenails grow back.  Or they fall off in the pool.  Or they turn black.  Or you don't really need them anyway.
14. I, so far, don't know how far I can go - I need to find that limit.  
15. Food is just fuel. So don't waste time on food that does nothing for our fuel.  
16. Carrying twins across the finish line of a marathon can be taxing - but survivable.
17. Early morning runs are odd - nobody is awake yet - and when you are running in the winter it is awfully fun to come out of a cloud of snow and scare the bejeezus out of someone who is scraping their window on their car.
18. Runners acknowledge other runners - or cyclists - or four wheelers - or birds - or dogs.
19. People will question your sanity.  They will question your motives.  They will question your choice in shoes.  They will question your treatment of others while you are running.  They will question why you are running at all.  They will question your ability to reason after a run.  They will demean you as someone who has lost contact with the real world.  Your family will wonder why you are not at home but on a run.  You will in polite conversation tell people that you have run "Fill-in-the-blank" miles that month or year - they will question your use of drugs.

Don't ever give up on what you will want to do and how you will want to do it.  Never give up on your dreams or your opportunity to fulfill your dreams.  You can conquer your fears and you can make yourself what you want to be.  Open your mind up to the grind  Open your mind up and pour in the grit and the determination to do what you want to do and how you want to do it.  Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do.  Don't give an inch to someone who wants an emotional beach head into your soul.  Kick the ass of anyone that deserves it.  Be prepared in every instance of your life to conquer and burn the village down to prove a point.  I have the same metal in me that you have in you.  I want to find the limits of what I have been given.  I want to push as long and as hard as I can and I want to achieve great things and do great things.  The only way to do those things and make the impact I want - is to sacrifice everything I have on the altar of success and suck it up and go.  Are you willing to go along with me?  Your journey is your journey and mine is mine - let us make the best of ours.

Dave

Ahh... I am a Bricoleur... A tinkerer of my own destiny....

I, am a fat man.  And I run.
I have learned a few things in my life.
1.  I make what I want of the world.
2.  I make my own luck.
3.  If I run over 30 miles a week - it is a good week.
4.  Pick your poison - but running is my antidote for most of the things.
5.  If you want to be a victim - go ahead - but don't play that card with me - it annoys me.

People balk at the idea that you can do whatever you want to do if you set your mind to it.  There were people who did not want electric lights - they were called the Lamp Lighters Guild.  Yeah. Losers.
Losers always complain about doing their best.  But I digress.
I don't want to call anyone out - or make them feel bad.  That is not my point.  My point is that you CAN do whatever you want to do.  If you want to be a doctor then do it.  You want to be a painter - do it.  You want to ride elephants do it.  You want to be the best at what you have been choose to do?  Do it.  Don't dig around in your bag of tricks for the victim card.  The woe is me because something happened to you and you can't fix it.  Of course you can fix it. It might be painful and it might be unenjoyable - but you can fix it.  You can do it.  You can make the choice to make the up or down decision.  You can hold the line - battle to the last - and make your choice.  But, you make the choice.

I went running today.  Not out in the bright wonderful sunshine - but in the gym.  On a treadmill.  For 13.3 miles.  The treadmill only has a small brain.  It does not understand anything over an hour.  So you have to restart yourself every hour on the hour or it dies.  It then needs to be coaxed back to life and then it has to know you want to go all the way again.  All the way. Not half way.  Not a quarter.  The entire distance.  I am not the fastest man in the world.  Sir Roger Bannister would lap me four times every mile.  He was a miler.  The best.  I am consistently a 5.6 MPH runner.  That means I go 5.6 Miles Per Hour.  Literally per hour I go 5.6 miles.  So I had to restart twice.

My point is - that I would rather have been out in the air and the sunshine.  But I made due with what I had - and that was a treadmill and the time I had on hand.  I did with what I had.  If you look up Bricoleur - they tinker with what they have and make something different.  That is what you can do with your life.

Not to get academic on you - but there is the story of the Mann Gulch Disaster.  Short of it - firefighters land at a fire site in Montana at 410PM - thinking it will be a small fire - something they can conquer by 10AM the next day.  At 540PM - the fire jumped the gulch - and began to burn up behind the fire fighters - and by 556PM - 13 of them were dead and three survived.  This is an interesting read on many fronts.  The article is linked below:
http://www.nifc.gov/safety/mann_gulch/suggested_reading/The_Collapse_of_Sensemaking_in_Organizations_The_Mann_Gulch.pdf

So if in your life - you land at 410 - what will you do to survive past 556?  You make your life different.  You do something different.  You make yourself into something that will adapt and live.  You assess the situation - and you change.  In my life - I decide to run so I won't die early.  You make your life what you want.  You do what you have to do to survive the next day.  The next mile.  the next struggle.  You choose.
I choose to run.  Not fast - but consistent and I will win my own race.

Fat Cells Crying

Have you ever been on a run and let the music be your guide?  I was running on a treadmill at work - not because I can't run outside - but I did not have the time to today.  SO I got onto the treadmill and popped in my ipod and ran like a rat on a string for 4.5 miles.  Not too bad of a run - I was averaging 09:30 miles and kept up a good pace with a rest in the middle to question my sanity.  But at the 3.2 mile mark a song came on that I could not just do a cool down for five minutes - and I tried.
The song?  I would do anything for love.  By Meat Loaf So I hit that song - and I knew that my version for some reason went for 11 minutes.  So what do you do?  You punch it.  You keep going and you make the most of your next 11 minutes.  Your brain is going "dude - that is Meatloaf - you gotta keep going."  Your heart is going at 172 beats per minutes - and is liking this a lot.  The rest of the body is going "Dude you will regret this later.  When you are in your cube and try to get up and your hip seizes up on you - Meat Loaf won't be there to help you."

The one part of the body that you don't need to listen to is the fat cells.  Yeah they are comfortable.  They are parts of the bacon wrapped scallops that you had for dinner last night.  They are the Lorna Doone cookies that you had a while ago.  Did I mention the cobbler from last night?  Three servings...

But you know what?  At mile three the fat started to suffer.  The cells started to die off.  Miserable little butter cells that have holed up for several years.  I think that they suffer.  Then spontaneously explode - and it is always easier to gain the weight through the mouth - but harder to destroy it and shove it out through the pores.

Sometimes you have do dig deep.  Find that pop tart you had and sacrifice it to the furnace of desire and throw out the detritus that shackles you.  Be free.  Run Hard.  Make the fat suffer.
FMR