Gibbs Rule #39

Gibbs Rule #39

There is no such thing as a coincidence.  Everything happens for a reason.  Leroy Jethro Gibbs says so.  So it is gospel.  So why do I say this?  Because in the last two weeks I have found that nothing ever happens without a reason or without result.
So when I go out for a run - I run with the purpose of solving my problems in my head.  Sometimes it is a spreadsheet and a problem with reporting.  Sometimes it is an issue at work.  Sometimes it is to run the anger out of my system.  Sometimes it is to give my soul absolution for tough decisions.  Running for me is a vehicle that when treated the right way is therapy for the soul.  So let me run you through my coincidences.
1.  I lose my job at UHC.
2.  I get my PMP.
3.  I get another job.
4.  I don't fit with that job.
5.  Another job that I had applied to earlier calls me.  Reopens the position that was closed so I can apply.
6.  Job I don't fit in - tells me so.
7.  Other job offers me a job - and better environment and longer term opportunity.

Coincidence?  I don't operate that way.  Things happen for a reason.  Activities happen for a reason.  Issues arise so you can learn.  All things mount and build.

On my run today - I thought on what I have learned where I am - but I need to know more - and I need to grow into what I need to be.  Work it out.  Learn it out.  Run it out.
FMR.

Give Me This Mountain

Link to my run

I have taken to running at lunch.  It is better than a nap.  Food is something that, unless with friends, takes me about ten minutes tops to ingest and move on.  

So let me describe my run.  Well let me begin with the map.  I started a map at www.mapmyrun.com and planned out a run that would go up and around and back to work.  The problem with a plan, and as Jack Reacher would say:  

"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."  

Now I did not get punched in the mouth - but as I was out running I changed course.  I was running in the direction of the Avenues - but then changed course to run down South Temple.  Then I was near Memory Grove - but I did not go up the slight incline in Memory Grove - I changed course - and went straight up State Street and looped around the State Capitol and then I went into the City Creek Canyon - ending up going up into City Creek Canyon for 3/4 of a mile and then ended going back down through Memory Grove and then back to work along South Temple.  I was looking for five miles and got handed 5.6.  

So here is how this worked.  I began my run - and calculated in my head that I was going to be able to do whatever I thought I could do.  And I did just that.  I thought I would take the easier way into Memory Grove - but I did not.  I took the high road.  Literally.  I took the road that went straight up the hill and climbed the fault line.  Why?  Because I knew I could do it.  Now you must know that I am not a speedy runner by any sort.  I just keep going.  I figure that distance cannot kill you - just take it at your own pace.  You can do anything that you want to do.  Just do it reasonably.  I have a guy at work that says "You did not go out and run (fill in the blank) distance."  I hate to rain on that parade but I did do it.  I did do that.  I will probably do it again.  Again.  And Again.  

Why do I do it?  Why do you run during a time you could be sitting on your computer and fretting about Climate Change?  Simple. Sphere of what you can control - influence - and concern:

1. I can't control Climate Change
2. I can't influence Climate Change
3. But I can be concerned about it. 

On the other side of the spectrum - I can:

1. Choose how to use my time
2. Choose to go exercise and get my heart rate up
3. Take out the "trash" from work and sort through things
4. Make myself a little bit better

Running is something that I can control.  I can do it because I want to do it.  I can do it because I like to.  I can control when I do it and how I do it and how fast I go.  I can make the effort to push myself a little bit harder and go a little bit farther.  I can control it.  Which makes me more powerful because I choose to do it.

So I choose to run up the mountain.  Why do I run up the mountain?  Because I know I need it.  I know that I need to get up that mountain and I need to know that I can do it still.  In the Good Book - the "thick" Good Book - it talks of Caleb in Joshua (listen to Spencer Kimball).  Go to minute 6.

To quote Caleb.  "Give Me This Mountain."  

I look at what I do in this life - I don't want to remember my "Egyptian Slavery" or my "fill-in-the-blank" because I am afraid.  Afraid of something tough.  Take the low road because it is easier.  Go Slower because I don't want to do it.  The mountain will always be there.  Wander for 40 years in the wilderness of affliction - hoping that the giants leave and they leave the gates open.  Not happening.

So Caleb was 85 years old.  The giants were still in the land.  The topography was still the same.  But Caleb did not care who was in the land.  He did not care what was there.  He knew he could, with The Lord, with Faith in the God of Israel.  The selfsame God of Elijah - who (link) brings down the fire from heaven and mocks those who worship the dumb idol.  Caleb believes the promises of God.

So that is how I run.  I don't believe that the course I plot will kill me.  I don't believe that I will be the fastest man out there.  But, I do believe, that I will go out, and I will come back.  I will use my body as I need to and I will do what I need to do.  I will try myself, and I will test myself.  Give me the run. Give me the mountain.

FMR

Math and Life

I have been thinking.  Which for some people is a trial - but for some a journey.  Life is a journey.  So I had better be thinking about it as I go along.

I was out on a run last week.  My primary thought was - everything is about math.  The equation of life is difficult, complex, rife with variables, and in the end it all equals what we put into it.

I am a firm believer that you have control over your life.  You can do what you want.  You can be a dreamer, atheist, or a believer.  You can make your bed every day - go to work every day.  You can choose your profession and you can choose your mate.  You can choose to have children, and you can choose to love.  All of these things I have mentioned are just variables in the equation.

If you want to adjust the equation - you can do that.  You can take things out and you can put things in.  Do you want to be out of debt?  Then quit spending your money on things that don't matter.  You want to be skinny?  Then quit using the butter, flour, and sugar as your main food groups.  You want to be smarter?  Go and learn something.  You want to be a rock star?  Learn to sing and dance.  Or at least learn how to dance.  Singing and dancing sometimes don't work well together.

It is all about math and how you work the equation.  If you want something different then you need to adjust what you are putting into the equation.  You want to run faster.  Get skinnier.  You want to be a guitarist?  Do that.  Go get the guitar and you practice till your finger bleed and you can play well.  Do you want to limit yourself by what you have been given?  Sure that is is the easy path.  That is the path of the victim.  Someone who blames others because of something they don't have or something they were not ready to make the sacrifice to get.  Life all boils down to math.

I was thinking about this on my run.  I was thinking about my own personal math equation.  What balances my life and gives it meaning?  I don't think I can answer that without revealing my own personal equation.  But I can tell you some of the elements of the equation.  Mine begins with my family, branches out into others, and resonates with a belief in Higher Powers beyond me.  

My actions and my goals feed my equation.  If I want to run faster - I need to quit eating fruit snacks and Dr. Pepper.  If I want to get a better job then I need to make myself attractive enough that someone else wants what I am selling.  Me.  If I want a better marriage I need to focus more on my wife and less on me and more on my son.  If I want to be a better neighbor I need to help those that I am around and become a better neighbor.  

Can you see how the equation gets more complicated the more you drill into it?  Can you see the intricate numerals and wild card integers that float and move each day?  That is the math of life.  If you want something different add or subtract what you want.  I have found that the way one lives is in direct correlation to how they formulate their equation.  If you want to have all the money in the world - then start collecting what The Almighty uses as pavement.  Make your equation matter.  Make it something that others want to take parts of your equation and mirror it in theirs.  

Happiness is a math equation that gives your life purpose.  Make the math count.  Make your life count.  Run your race as fast as you can - or as consistently as you plan.  I want to make mine count.  I want the product of my life to be what I have put into it.  The product of my product.

FMR

Deseret News 26.2

Welcome.  Let me tell you a few insights into my mind.  I was able to run the Deseret News Marathon on Pioneer Day in Utah - 7/24/13.  It took me a while.  5 Hours 10 minutes.  That may seem like a long time.  It is.  In fact it was long enough that I had trouble finding music on my ipod that I had not listened to.  I had one real goal for this marathon. 

Keep Moving.

Keep Going.

One foot in front of the other - don't stop.

Make progress.

I was not out to compete with the winner of the marathon and see if I could beat him.  I was out to make myself better.  To fend off the fatigue and the hurt and get to the next mile.

My epiphany?

All of your life is going to be like a marathon.  All of your trials and tribulations are going to be like a marathon.  All of your life can be measured in a length of time.  Your life is going to be encapsulated and compartmentalized into your actions - and at the end of your life you will measure what your success will be.  Some people measure success in their lives as the amount of cash you have on hand when the bell rings.  Negative Ghost Rider - that pattern is full.  You can't take money with you and success is measured by what you contributed to the world around you and not your assets left behind.

I digress.

So how is my life like a marathon?  Marathons are hard.  They are arduos events that tax your energy and your soul.  They take your efforts and wring them out and thump on them and test how long your brittle frame will last.  Marathons are like life.  You don't know when the pearly gates will open and you will shuffle off of this mortal coil.  That is not for you to know.  All you need to know is that you are in the race.  The difference is that in a Marathon you get mile markers that tell you where you are.  Mile 13, Mile 18, Mile 23.  You get those so that you can mark your pace and understand where you are.  Life is a little bit different.  You don't get the signs - you don't get the markers so you know that you can push it a little bit more, to measure how much is left in your tank.  You don't get that measuring stick.  There is no sign that says - "Hey you have 2 years left in your life, push it up and do some good here!"

Just as in life - just as in a marathon.  You need to keep going.  You may not know what the next turn brings - but you do know the length of the race.  You have been given a definite beginning - because you are here - and you have been given a definite end - because someday you will punch the ticket and take the eternal ride.

I think that the Marathon and Life have a lot of similarities.  Each one will beat you up in some way - but you need to have the resolve to step up your game and make the next step.  Just keep moving and just make the effort.  People who change the world show up.  They show up because they want to make a difference. 

That is what I felt like on the course.  I knew how long the race was but I wanted to make a difference to me.  I wanted to prove a point to myself that says "I will make it, and I will keep moving."  On my desk I have a quote:

"I don't intend on walking through my life tentatively making a statement.  I intend on making a definitive statement - to mash the objective, to leave no doubt as to where I was, or whether I was here.  Mash it, make a statement."

I don't think my purpose on this orb is to pass through like a breeze.  Me thinks that my purpose is to thunder down the side of the hill, gaining speed and direction, knocking down my goals and objectives and making my mark.  I don't know if it is Mile 24 or Mile 5 but making the best of it is my job.

FMR

Memorial Day Run

Here is a pass for the train of my thoughts.  Lets start shall we?
Today was a long run.  I front loaded my week so I would have Saturday free to go and visit my dead people.  So today was a 12 mile run.  You know you have gone fully over to the dark side when you think "Yeah - it was ONLY 12 miles."  I ran from my home - through Sugar House - up to Wasatch Drive - over through the Golf Course - Past Hogle Zoo - through Research Park - Through Fort Douglas - and then turned around.  I did it in 2 hours and 18 Minutes.  Which is respectable in Fat Men social circles.

I will tell you of my issue.  I have a play list on my iPod.  It is fairly eclectic.  I have songs on there from bagpipes to rap to Classical and Jody Calls from the military.  That was not my problem.

The problem was at mile 11.85.  Almost home.  A song came on my play list that caused me to tear up and break up while running my last .15 miles.

The Mansions of The Lord - Sung by the USMC.


"To fallen soldiers let us sing."
"Where no rockets fly and no bullets wing"
"No more bleeding - no more fight.  No friends bleeding through the night."
"Let no mothers cry and no children weep.  We will stand and guard though the angels sleep."
"Oh through the ages safely keep.  The mansions of the Lord."

Those are just a few lines from the song.  But you imagine.  Come with me.  Come back to the wars and the conflicts that we know of.

The Dane bare chested and horns on the head - The Scot with his claymore and kilt.  Antietam, Bull Run, Gettysburg.  All of those that gave all - and stood in line before this world began so that I could be where I am and have the freedom I have.  Those that gave as Abraham Lincoln said "The Last Full Measure of Devotion."

Look up your line and know that there have been those that have sacrificed all that they have had to come along the path to hand off to their posterity the ability and opportunity to get to a better place.  Think of your freedom and of your life.  I did.  I think that I have the opportunity to effect the world around me and to stand a little bit taller because off those that have passed on before.

So for this Memorial day - visit those that have taken that step.  Those that have gone on before you and as you lay the flowers down - know that they laid their lives down for you - and that you - you knew them and they knew you because we are all one big family.  Comfort those that
'have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom." Abraham Lincoln.

Fly the flag.  Be proud of who you are.  Be proud of those that gave you all.

FMR

Don't Look Back.

Today was a gut run.  You know the type of run I speak of I think.  It is a run that you need to do, that will be good for you, but your critical thinking portion of your brain says "Stay at your computer, maybe an email will come through and you will feel useful."

I wasn't going to let that happen. I did not want that to happen.  So I looked at the mileage sheet that my wife so wonderfully provided for me, and it said "3" meaning today was going to be a quick 3 rather than a long 18 or a short 12.  So I went for the run.  I went up the hills and across the foothills and through the traffic and over a couple of cross walks and then I was done.  I pushed myself because I could.  I pushed myself because I know that for the rest of the day I get to sit on my butt and handle issues or crisis or any number of tasks that might arise.  But, my run is done for the day.

So let me share with you a few kernels of wisdom that I had mashing around in my brain.

1.  Don't ever look back.  The past is something that you cannot change because it is done and you can't do anything else to change it now.  I hearken to Roger Bannister and John Landy - John lost his focus in the last few meters of the race and Roger blew past him to secure the race.  Don't ever look back.

2.  Don't ever stop.  If you stop you begin to tighten up and lose your resolve.  You won't have the ability to get up the next hill or the next mile. If you stop it will invariably take longer to get back home.  Back to your kids, your tasks, and your life.  Wait.  Maybe you do need to stop.  On second thought don't stop.  The one thing about running is that you get to go all the way out and all the way back.  You are in control of what you are doing and how you will accomplish it.  Don't muddle through a run - just go out and do it and get it done.  Unless you are truly injured, bleeding, or your leg has fallen off - get to it.  Your run awaits.

3.  You are in control.  You decide how fast to go - how long to go - your pace - and in the end, the results.  You get to choose where to go.  I apologize to all those that lived under Communist Running dictatorships where they told you how far and how long and what to do.  You choose.  You go.  Go do.

4.  Excuses.  Don't Live them, don't water them, don't repeat them, don't encourage them, don't appease them, don't love them, don't help them.  Like a avalanche of fire rolling down the mountain burning everything in it's path, exploding trees by boiling the sap from within, clearing whole swaths of the mountain and charging onward.  Don't timidly step out on the street, bull out there and make your statement.  You are your own nemesis.  Make your mark.

5.  Demons.  Name them.  Mark them.  Hunt them.  Kill them.  Win.

FMR

5.95 Boston Miles - 1 Hour 7 Minutes of contemplation.

As you enter the stream of my thoughts - bring a boat and a paddle.  For the flow is crazy.

Yesterday - 4/15/13 - I discovered via a news feed that a misguided individual or group, had decided to inflict mayhem and terror to runners and spectators at the Boston Marathon.  I don't know why a group would do that, and I don't understand their motive or their goal.  Hurting people is not how you get your message across - it is not how you get someone to listen to you - and it is not how you see results that last longer than when you no longer have the bomb or the gun pointed at my head.

My wife has explained to me that runners have an "internal locus of control" vs. an "external locus of control."  To bring that down to my cave man understanding - runners believe that they can control themselves and their environment - to act rather than to be acted upon.  Runners push through with a belief that they can conquer the next hill in front of them, the next mile that looms so large.  Runners don't start a race thinking they won't finish.  They believe that they have trained hard and long to get there and they understand their limits and their abilities.  Runners don't set out to fail. They plan, plan, plan, and plan some more.  They experiment with shoes and goo and hills and roads and snow and cold and rain and shine.  Runners purely do. 

So.  I went to bed late last night with the news in my eyes of the day.  I watched the bombs going off and I watched Americans do what Americans do.  They run towards the blast and they tear down the barriers and they use whatever is nearby to stop the blood - to carry the wounded, and they go the distance because that is what Americans do.  You grab a lanyard from around your neck and you stop the life from pumping from a gash caused by a cowardly blast.  I was not there.  I don't know what was going on.  I don't know who did it.  I don't know why.

But.  I know that inside - I am the same as those that lost their lives.  Color, creed, etc., are of no consequence when danger comes calling.  You take away the safety of one or a hundred Americans - we close the ranks around those that have been injured or threatened and we protect them, help them, love them, and care for them.  Why?  Because that is what Americans do. 

So, I had been watching my Facebook feed and there were running clubs around the US that were going on a run to show solidarity with their fellow Americans.  I read those.  I contemplated them.  I have a job.  It had an hours window of opportunity for me to go on a run. 

Now let me explain to you how I run.  I am slow.  I am not fast.  My marathon times is clocked in increments of 5 hours.  But I felt something different today.  I left the iPod at home.  I strapped on the shoes, put on my St. George Marathon 2011 shirt and I went out for a run.  Some would not call it running.  Others would call it shuffling.  Today I call it:  Boston. 

I don't know the three people who died in the bomb blast.  I don't know their lives or where they were going or where they came from.  My simple connection is that they were the same as me.  Sons and Daughters of God.  Placed here on earth to learn and to grow and to fulfill a measure of the opportunities that The Almighty had put here for them.  A coward stole those next moments from them.  I cannot do a thing to restore them - but I can remember them.  I can remember that when I take a breath - when I run a mile - when I hug my son and my wife that I have time they didn't, and won't.  I can remember that they were plucked off this mortal coil and I need to make every day count and every moment matter.

That is the "internal" locus of control  No matter how hard the wind blows, and no matter the battering that takes place - I can still make a better world each day that I shuffle forth.  God bless those that have left us and God bless us that have the opportunity to continue our run.